I sat down to write this article about “rest” about 3 weeks ago, and then I got some news that turned my world upside down, and made time stop (this is what it felt like). Someone who was very close to me told me that they are dying from Cancer, and that they don’t think that they will make it to summer. This person is around the same age as me… Ever since, I’ve shed so many tears. Watching this person be in pain at all times, not being able to eat, and not being able to sleep because they are in so much pain breaks my heart. What is even more devastating is witnessing him plan for his upcoming death. This guy used to work so much, and manual labour at that, and rarely slept because he was always working on something: so now, I can’t even wrap my head around seeing him not have the energy to walk up the stairs. Some words from my friend confirmed to me that I was supposed to write about this topic…I had been very busy (what else is new) and I was very tired… I was at my parents’ house, and told my friend that I was tired, but I had some things to do, and his response was:
“Why are you still working? Go home and rest. You must prioritize yourself, your wellbeing and your rest. Take care of your health…Eat better and sleep better. Prevention is better than cure. You don’t want to end up like me, this sucks big time, trust me.”
His words hit me like a ton of bricks, but he was right…While I’ve been trying to do things to prioritize my mental health, I honestly have not been prioritizing rest, which I know is definitely tied into mental wellness. But learning to rest takes some unlearning…I grew up in a household where I saw my parents work very hard…I rarely saw my parents lounging around: if they weren’t doing something around the house, they were literally sleeping. I had an unplanned pregnancy at 16 years old: I was a mother in grade 11. I know my parents were disappointed when I got pregnant at 16 because they knew that being a mother would hinder me from living my life as a normal teenager and could stand in the way of my dreams, but they never made me feel bad for it, and did everything that they could do to ensure that I lived the most normal teenage life that a teenage mother could. I made a vow that I would work really hard to make my parents proud, and up until this day, “make my parents proud” is still in the back of my head, which results in me “doing the most.” But I know that this is not sustainable, especially as a Black woman, I’ll explain what I mean by this…When I was doing my Masters in Teaching and Learning Science and Technology, my research looked at the underrepresentation of Blacks in the Science Technology Engineering and Math (STEM) fields…While I was doing my literature review, I came across two ideas that helped me make sense of the chronic fatigue and weariness I felt: “weathering” and “racial battle fatigue.” “Weathering” is a term coined by Dr. Arline Geronimus to describe how chronic exposure to social, economic, and political stressors—especially racism—leads to early health deterioration and accelerated biological aging in marginalized groups, particularly Blacks. Similarly, Racial Battle Fatigue (RBF) is a term coined by Dr. William A. Smith in 2003. RBF refers to the emotional, psychological, and physiological toll that people of color—especially Black people—experience from constant exposure to racial microaggressions, discrimination, and systemic racism, particularly in predominantly white spaces like schools or workplaces. These concepts gave language to what my body had already been telling me for years—that the constant push to prove myself, succeed, and survive in systems not built for me was slowly breaking me down. Being Black is taxing—mentally, emotionally, physically—so we need, deserve, and must protect our rest.
So here I am, learning—slowly and intentionally—that rest is not a reward, it’s a necessity. Rest is resistance. Rest is care. And rest is how we reclaim our time, our health, and our joy in a world that often demands our exhaustion. As Black people, as caregivers, as people navigating systemic stressors, we deserve more than survival—we deserve to thrive. As the Nap Ministry’s Tricia Hersey reminds us, “Rest is a form of resistance because it disrupts and pushes back against capitalism and white supremacy.”
So today, I’m choosing to let go of the guilt, unlearn the grind, and honor my body’s need for pause. And I invite you to do the same—choose yourself, choose your rest, and know that your wellness is worth the time.
Restworthy yours,
Sabi Kamilah Hinkson
https://linktr.ee/misssabi
